first my mother, forever my friend

I’ve put off writing this for an incredibly long time now, because I’ve never realized how hard such a seemingly simple topic would turn out to be.

How would you describe a best friend in just five-hundred words? Even five thousand words cannot do justice to the memories, experiences, love and strength of such a relationship. And when your best friend is your mother, there really aren’t enough words and languages in this world to exactly capture what she means to me.

So, Mom, whenever you ask me how I feel about you, this is how I feel. I’d say that it’s taken me almost twenty years to write this because I couldn’t figure out how to express my feelings eloquently, but in reality, it’s just because there’s so, so much to talk about.

I could sit here and talk about all the memories we’ve had since day one. The days that we’d sit together in the car after you picked me up from pre-school, waiting for Dad to get off of work; the days you’d sit next to me and try to teach me math; the days you’d help me count the beat in my piano pieces even though you didn’t know anything about music or piano; the days I would walk through the aisles of a store and beg for new toys.

These days, though, things have been a bit different: nowadays, both of us sit together in the car, waiting to pick up Allen from school; nowadays, I sit in my dorm working on calculus problems while you call me, asking me how my day has been; nowadays, you’d record me singing and playing on the piano to share with friends; nowadays, we both walk through the aisles of a store, picking out outfits for each other.

Or, I could also sit here and brag about just how wonderful and beautiful of a person you are. Not everyone can get away with kidding that their mom used to be a model, but the best part about it is that you’re beautiful on the inside and outside. I owe you so many thanks, too, for always staying by my side, through all my ups and downs. Thank you for always having the answers, for always calling me to remind me to take my vitamins, and even for tracking my iPhone to make sure I arrive back to my dorm safely. At times, it certainly seems unnecessary, but deep down within, I know just how lucky I am to have someone who is willing to stay up until midnight just to see me before the day ends.

This letter probably isn’t what you were expecting; it’s not a cute and happy story about the two of us. Because if I were to do that, I’d just end up writing my own autobiography. Though admittedly, it hasn’t always been a cute and happy story, you’ve been an integral part of my life every step of the way, guiding me, supporting me and loving me each and every day. A day without you is, well, just unimaginable, because that’s a day without my mother and my best friend. Even more than that, a day without you is a day without myself, because as they say, a best friend is a single soul living in two bodies.

So, I just can’t narrow it down to one thing — or one memory – that allowed me to realize how grateful I am to be your daughter and your friend, because I’m not even entirely sure when you became more than just my mother to me. But I’m glad that day came when I finally understood that you were both my mother and my best friend, because that was the day that I truly became who I am today. And finally, thank you for always being there, waiting for me to realize that I’ve always had a best friend in you.

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11 thoughts on “first my mother, forever my friend

  1. Nyse says:

    Moving, simply inspirational in every single way; the simplicity of this post is what made it truly unique and beautiful. No wonder your blog is so wonderful, after all you have a wonderful mother!

    Liked by 1 person

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