As I was scrolling through my Facebook feed today instead of doing homework (oh man, I feel like too many of my posts are started that way…not too sure if it’s a good or a bad thing, haha), I stumbled upon this picture that someone I knew shared:
Oh man, oh man. Yes, I know, every person has their own opinions about different issues, and I entirely respect that. But, but…AHH THIS HURTS ME A LITTLE TOO MUCH. Okay, okay, I’ll calm down now and let’s talk about this. Here’s why I think this post is wrong on so, so many levels.
- This type of attitude first and foremost perpetuates gender roles and stereotypes. No, this is not the 19th century, where all women were expected to do was to make babies, ensure they grew up healthy and maintained the house. Now, I understand that in many foreign countries (and in the past), it is/was impossible for a woman to provide for herself (which is why we should work harder on providing education to women in third-world countries, but that’s a post for another day.) But today, women are everywhere: we’re lawmakers, we’re scientists, we’re artists, dancers, writers, workers and so, so much more. And so are men. Now, why do women have to be the ones to go home after a long day to do all the chores and not expect her husband to help? Because housework is “feminine?” Someone mentioned this to the writer of the post, and this was her response:
It is really tough to work and run a home. However, most men are just not “homemaking” oriented, therefore, it’s not worth destroying a marriage being upset and angry with a husband who doesn’t help with the housework.
WHAT??? MEN ARE NOT “HOMEMAKING” ORIENTED? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? My dad and so many other men I know are perfectly fine doing chores…in fact, I see it as an insult to them that you think men can’t do household work.
NOTE: I don’t have a problem with stay-at-home mothers or those who enjoy doing all the chores by themselves. Still, my mother (a stay-at-home mom) works her butt off every single day making sure our family properly functions, and DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS? So yes, my father helps out with chores and everything else as much as he can, because you know, WE ARE A FAMILY.
2. “You married him to be your protector and provider.” NO. I married him (theoretically speaking because I am very much not married…) because we mutually love and respect each other. Yes, you say exactly that in your next line, but shouldn’t a man also want to help make a woman’s life better, and not worse? Shouldn’t he also try to make your life as happy and easy as he can? You say expectations ruin relationships, but isn’t it expecting too much to think that a woman should do all the housework by herself?
This post is flashing all sorts of warning alerts: this sort of attitude can and will lead to domestic violence, because the foundation of domestic abuse is the belief that one partner must listen to the other and do everything in his/her abilities to satisfy another. And that is absolutely not okay.
And heck, shouldn’t everyone be doing the chores? I do, my brother does, my mom and dad do, and that is expected from all of us. Why, you ask? Because we’re a family, and we ALL want the best for EACH OTHER.