feeling sad to leave, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go

It’s eight AM, and I’m sitting by myself in a corner at the airport. A feeling that I can’t really describe overcomes me: a mixture of “OH MY GOSH COLLEGE STARTS IN 24 HOURS IS THIS FOR REAL?” and “wow, here it is…now let me take a couple deep breaths before I burst in tears because this is just a little bit weird, not having my parents yelling around me and my brother bothering me” and “haha, I’m not quite sure I’m ready for all this, but whelp.”

The funny thing is, I used to hate traveling with my family (or, just the part where we get from one place to another). My dad would never fail to leave at the last minute (even if we were in an airport lounge), forcing the rest of us to run through the airport like maniacs with our hurried apologies and half-broken suitcases. It was always a bunch of confusion, anxiety and praying that we wouldn’t miss our flight.

But I’m sitting here right now, and something just feels a bit off. Maybe it’s the quiet: Mom isn’t here complaining, and Dad isn’t here yelling at me to hurry up. Maybe it’s the slowness: I’m no longer running through an airport at 75 mph.Maybe it’s the loneliness: This certainly isn’t the first time that I’ve flown by myself, but it’s the first time flying somewhere where I know I won’t be back within a few days, or even a few weeks.

At the same time, I’m incredibly excited. I’ve always been told these will be the best four years of my life, and I’m ready for that. There’s so many things that I want to do, so many things that I wouldn’t have been able to do if I just stayed home. And before this turns into a cheesy, cliche post about “how college will change your life, how you’re about to embark on the best journey of your life,” I just want to say that I’m ready. I’m ready for eight AM calc classes (LOL, who am I kidding though), and I’m ready for tomorrow, because what starts tomorrow changes the world.

Hook’em horns!

of course I brought all my Taylor Swift photos :)

of course I brought all my Taylor Swift photos 🙂

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